ianophelan2024-04-15T16:00:37+00:00

mary_giuliani

SWIMMING WITH THE NUNS- I should have known the m

SWIMMING WITH THE NUNS- I should have known the moment I smelled the heady combo of quiche and Lysol. My mother frantically rushing around to clean our already perfectly spotless California (by way of Long Island, NY) ranch-style home. All the signs were there: The nuns were coming!

“Why are they coming here?” I asked my mother, who was now basically Windexing our toy poodle Mona.
“Because it’s nice for them to leave the convent every once in a while.”

“Sure, I get that, but why always to our house? Why not Coney Island or The Catskill Game Farm or I don’t know—anywhere else but our house?”

“Be nice, Mary, and go wash your face.” Please note: I must have had a very dirty face growing up, because that is the one thing I remember my mom repeatedly asking me to do.

From HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE NO ONE
@goldennotebookpress

📸 @adrienbroom

I have a new website

Link in my profile for

Happy Birthday @pearlcaliforniacountry

album

Happy Birthday @pearlcaliforniacountry 💫 album cover

Celebrating one of the finest humans in the entire

Celebrating one of the finest humans in the entire world 💫
I love you @pearlcaliforniacountry May all your dreams come true 🎂🥂
We sure did have some fun 🥳 @chudneylross ❤️

Sure is fun growing old with this guy 🤦🏻‍♀️

April 9th, 2019 we danced the tarantella at Katz’s Deli to celebrate Tiny Hot Dogs 🌭🤣🙏🏻
@alfioofficial ❤️

This is how @mgcevents eclipses

Awww shucks ☺️
Have you read Tiny Hot Dogs? 🌭
Link in bio 💫
Thank you @tvaquilina ❤️

Never taking this off… SNL geek forever

Never taking this off…
SNL geek forever ❤️

When you have the best GodmothA ever!!!!! Thank yo

When you have the best GodmothA ever!!!!! Thank you @aenugent23 What a night 💫 @oliviarodrigo you are a rock goddess 💜 Happy 1st @thegarden

Earthquake?? What earthquake??

Just finished the @appletv @stevemartinreally doc

Just finished the @appletv @stevemartinreally doc and feeling grateful that from a very young age, I chose him as my guiding light for all things funny. An honest, vulnerable and beautiful glimpse into the life of an incredibly private artist AND a truly heartwarming validation for those like me, who have spent many years kneeling at the alter Martin 🙏🏻

“Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.” —Steve Martin

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